My apologies!!!

For someone with a blog in its infancy I just did the #1 faux pas in blogging...no posts for a week.

My apologies.

I will try my best not to let that happen again.

I basically took a week off from "life and reality."

It was an amazing week and, frankly, I had no intention at the beginning of the week not to blog, but once I realized I was in an area with nearly zero cell coverage I figured, "what the hell?"...why stop at no phone...go all the way and do no internet, no magazines, no newspapers, no anything for a week.

Picture this guy not being able to hear the other person on the phone and vice versa:

It was the first time since college that I have done anything like that.

I highly recommend doing it if you can get away with it.

So...what did I do for a week?

I was invited to join seven other guys for golf in Bandon, Oregon from Tuesday through Saturday.

I had never been to Portland before and I was in a position to get a cheaper flight if I left a day early so I booked a flight to arrive late Monday morning with the intention to book a few appointments in Portland, see the city and get to know a few CouchSurfers in Portland (thank you for your hospitality Ben & Saamanta...you are incredibly gracious people!).

I fell in love with Portland.  I would describe Portland as the offspring of Austin, TX & Boulder, CO.  It has the endearing, kind of weird, granola, odd-ball, laid back, liberal-but-in-a-good-way, good food, neighborly feel to it that Austin has and then the outdoorsy, tons of activities, healthy, non-car friendly feel of Boulder.  I highly recommend a visit if you haven't been there already.

Tuesday morning I met up with the other seven guys and we took two SUVs about five hours SW of Portland with stops to Bandon, Oregon.  For those of you who have never been to Oregon before you might be a little shocked to find out that there are no self service gas stations in the entire state.  Every single gas station has AT LEAST one of these:

Don't get me wrong.  I am all about job creation, but creating jobs that are unnecessary is unreal to me.  A friend of mine made a great point:  Why stop there if you are going to create unnecessary jobs?  Make it mandatory for every movie theater to have an escort take you to your seats, every grocery store have a person to carry your bags to your car, every restaurant have valets...and the list goes on and on.  I hope these are not the types of jobs Obama has planned for us in his new package.  The utter waste of money that is happening in Oregon with these jobs and the waste of human capital (some of these people currently doing these jobs could actually be doing something worthwhile with their time and contributing to the greater good instead of pumping gas) really gets me fired up (did I mention that while gas is $1.58 in Ohio it is $2.12 in Oregon...gee...I wonder what might be one variable that is causing their gas to be that much higher than in Ohio???...but I digress...

We stayed here from Tuesday to Saturday:

Here is just one of the 75 holes of golf we played over three days of golf:

So each day after walking 18 to 30 holes of golf with a caddy we would go into the lodge, have a couple drinks, talk about our round, go back to the Inn to change clothes then make our way to dinner.  We would eat copious amounts of red meat that we never would have done with our significant others present, bullshitted more about golf and life over a couple more drinks then hit the hot tub to tend to sore muscles and joints then straight to bed to do it again the next day.  You can probably now see why the blog went silent for nearly a week.

As far as golfing with a caddy goes, I highly recommend it.  It is a little pricey, but a good caddy is worth their weight in gold.  Consider this:  I am legitimately a 40 handicap.  Now, those of you that golf are quick to say that there is no such thing as a 40 handicap.  And to that naive statement I say this:  "Do the math, asshole.  I consistently hit 112 on a Par 72 course so you do the math...40 handicap."  I had the same caddy, Minnesota, all three rounds we played with a caddy (we played 54 with and 21 without a caddy) and the last of the three rounds I legitimately hit a 98.  Me with a 98!!!  Let me help you put that in perspective:  Me hitting a 98 in golf is equivalent to any of the following occuring:

Eddie getting the girl at the end of the night

Toe waking up with an afro tomorrow morning

SLB shopping at a thrift store

Deidra calling me back

Brianna Azul or Sug voting for Obama in 2012

MJ finishing his writing

Goose waking up with non-Cialis induced morning wood

These things just don't happen.

For all of our readers who golf I must tell you that Golf Digest is a little off-base with Bandon Dunes Golf Resort.  On their list of the Top 100 Public Golf Courses in the USA they have Pacific Dunes at #2, Bandon Dunes at #7 and Bandon Trails at #21 with Pebble Beach at #1 (entire list at this link:

http://www.worldgolf.com/news/golf-digest-top-100-public-golf-courses-in-america-5294.htm

Four of the guys in our group have also played Pebble Beach and all four of them said the Bandon courses are better.

I have been lucky enough due to the generosity of extremely kind friends to have the fortitude to play 14 of the top 100 courses on this list and I would have to put Pacific Dunes as my #1, Bandon Trails as my #2 and Bandon Dunes as my #3.

The golf truly is that spectacular.

If you like to golf you must make the flight and drive to Bandon, Oregon (either fly into PDX Portland and drive nearly 5 hrs SW or fly into San Francisco and drive nearly 8 hrs N up US 101...a much more scenic route than if you fly into PDX).  Either way, the trip is worth making.  You will have zero regrets...and leave your cell phone at home :-)

Comments

[Kyle Sisk]

Sam,

I honestly had no idea. Now you can definitely tell how bad I am at golf and how little I know about the game of golf.

I will most definitely never be writing about anything putting forth my knowledge of golf since it is near zero.

That said, I do know beauty and good golf course when I see one.

If you have been to Bandon before...shame on you for not telling me about it.

If you have not been to Bandon before...PLEASE book your trip soon and thank me when you get back. It is an amazing place!

Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours!

Kyle

[Sam]

Kyle, Kyle, Kyle....

Shooting 112 on a par 72 course does not make you a 40 handicapper. There is a course rating and slope for every golf course, and those are used to determine your handicap, which, by the way, you should only "play to" in one round out of four. There is some math involved, and most people who do not maintain a true handicap tend to overstate their handicaps.

Plus -- the max allowed handicap for a male golfer is 36, so i don't care how bad you are, you're not a 40!

[Kyle Sisk]

Kelly,

Thanks for clearing things up. I appreciate the comment!

kyle

P.S. I will be back in less than a month for an extended stay

[Kelly]

I'm glad you enjoyed my adopted home of Portland. I moved here from the mid-west 18 months ago and I've been GIDDY ever since. But I must correct you. The reason that gasoline is higher here than it is in Ohio is that we get it from a different distribution system. It has nothing to do with our full serve gas stations. Our gas prices are about on par with our neighbors Washington and California. I'm pretty sure the law wasn't placed for the creation of jobs. Many years ago it was a safety issue. However, in Oregon, in order to change the law it must be voted on in a general election. It has been on the ballot before and everyone always votes against changing the law. We don't like having to pump our own gas - it's as simple as that. And coming from Wisconsin, where it was 17 degrees below zero, and I had to chip a thick layer of ice off my car before I could even begin pumping gas - trust me, I would vote it down too if it ever came up again during an election.
Other things to consider as well:
You can't pump your own gas in New Jersey either.
Oregon was the first state to pass the Bottle Bill, require deposits on beverage containers.
The current #1 movie Twilight was filmed largely in Portland. As well as Mr. Hollands Opus, and a host of other films.

Oregon, and especially Portland are the coolest places in the country and I am tickled to have the opportunity to live here! I hope you come back soon!